sleep really not coming easily tonight. i tell you to live like andre and i is utterly emotionally draining and exhausting yet i can't sleep, and i do it anyways. ridiculous. this relationship is bad for me. matt is not a nice guy. he's a jerk. i'm not even attracted to jerks... what is wrong with me? i must shut him out. he will never respect me, it's him, not me. he really is one of those people who are "addicted to bad feelings"